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A British Asexual Perspective

Almost all the asexuals that posted blogs on the subject are living in the US, and I thought the UK could do with the same, so this post’s about asexuality and what it is. It’s probably a bit pointless, since I’m covering old ground here, but here’s my take on the subject anyway.

As far as I can remember, the term ‘asexual’ was first used to describe those who don’t experience sexual attraction around 2004, when David Jay (who since became the spokesman) did an interview for the New Scientist. There was some kind of statistics-gathering excercise in which some bloke asked random members of the public what their sexual orientation was. They discovered that around 1 per cent of those questioned revealed they had no sexuality.

For some reason the study got quite a bit of attention from the media. Tabloids like the Daily Star and The Sun found the concept a bit too much to handle, and seemed a bit defensive for some reason. The Daily Mail published an unusually well-written article.
Sex therapists and even religious leaders were seen as experts on the subject by sections of the media. The religious leaders’ responses ranged from denial to spouting biblical stuff about angels without considering more commonsense explanations. A few ‘experts’ on sex either denied asexuality exists, while others claimed we are badly in need of some form of therapy or other. One particular ‘therapist’ really is a pain in the ass. They want everyone to conform to their ideals, and naturally, we told them to piss off.

So what is an asexual? The commonly-agreed definition is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, ranging from passive to a strong dislike of sex and intimacy. Most asexuals don’t feel anything, but others like myself find the idea of sex too gross, and we really couldn’t watch porn without throwing up. A few of us get slightly aggressive when touched. Others are in some form of relationship or other.
What a lot of people don’t realise is that asexuality has nothing to do with abstinence or celibacy, and morals have very little if anything to do with it. We just either find sex unpleasant, or we just can’t be bothered.

I’ve found society to be surprisingly tolerant, considering practically everything’s based on sex, from sitcoms to advertising. Not that most of us find it easy to ‘come out’ – it took me a few years to realise it’s not really an issue anyway. Our relationship with the LGBT communities are either amicable or indifferent.